7

Today marks year number 7. You loved this number because it is the perfect one.

The other day someone said “I cannot believe that it has been 7 years already, how time flies!” But for me time has come to a slow crawl, as time only flies when one is having fun.

I have not stopped thinking of you everyday, there were many changes in our lives this past year, and with each event I could not help but think of you….

….how I wish you were here to talk to our son-in-law before the Big Day, to give him your words of wisdom and to warn him to love and cherish our little girl…

…I wish you were here to officiate their wedding and preach on the subject of loving each other and loving God…

and I wish you were here to walk our daughter down the aisle because I wanted to see that soft side of yours when you get teary eyed.

but you weren’t here…

**************

I really missed your wisdom, especially when I found myself lost and trapped in so many dire situation.

I missed having you reassuring me that everything is going to be alright, because God is in control…

I missed having someone whom I can run to at the end of a long exhausting day to unload all my problems . A shoulder to cry on, and cry with….

When I needed you the most…you weren’t here…..

**************

I was  jealous when some of our friends finally get to go away on their own. I would never had these opportunities with you and will never grow old and gray together…

There are so many times I wish I had done things differently, seized the day as they say…

Now I am left with regrets and the ” should-have”, ” could-have”….

but one thing I have learned is that we are only given today and never promised tomorrow, so we need to cherish our loved ones daily.

************

In my mind I can see how your eyes would  cloud over when you found out your loved ones got sick, and this past year we had our fair share of illness…..

And I do remember the pain on your face when you got sad news, and unfortunately there were a lot of heart-breaking ones these last few months….

You always took things to heart, and would sit quietly, lost in your thoughts as you tried to deal with the disturbing things in your own ways— those sighs, sleepless nights, unspoken words would tell me how tormented you were.

And I am so glad that you are being spared of all these pains and heartaches now for you are at a better place with your Lord, no more tears and no more sufferings…

***************

I have promised myself not to weep when I visit you at the cemetary this year.  For I have cried enough tears….

This year, I have learned to celebrate.

To celebrate a life that was well lived, and a wonderful legacy left behind.

You were a good son and  brother…

A wonderful dad and a loving husband…

Rest in peace my dear.  Enjoy the presence of your Lord.

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About mamaj

mom with two grown up girls, children pastor, avid knitter, coffee-lover, bear-collector. I love reading, hanging out with my girl friends and yes, I am owned by a golden lab, Jaden.

Posted on April 6, 2012, in in loving memory. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I do not know what to say my dear friend. I echo your feelings. Some says the first year will be difficult, anniversaries, birthdays..etc. I have no doubt that it is not entirely true.

  2. April 6th this year= Good Friday. No more words. Just a hug.

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