blue flowers

December 25, 2011

The small bouquet of blue stands out dramatically among a  sea of red and green ,  straight and tall in the wind and rain, displaying  its beauty for me to see.

Someone has left it by his headstone  in loving memory of  him during the holidays….

For the past weeks, I have been walking around with this gray cloud over me, threatening to swallow me if I let myself go…..

Grief, as I have experienced so many times, will come and sweep you off your feet like a wave.  You never know when it hits you, and when it does, it pulls you down.   You never get over a loss as so many people have told me, but you learn to deal with it and get on with life.

The weather is typical west coast winter, drizzling rain and miserably wet,  Yet this bouquet of blue flowers manages to do something I was unable to do for days, it brings the sun back and chases the gray cloud away.   They are just simply blue silk flowers yet it transports me back to those days….

the time when we were dating, I had  knitted  him a blue scarf one Christmas and he had worn it proudly….

the day when we made the commitment to each other ….for better and for worse….. his tux was that same hue…

and the gift he had enthusiastically given me on our first anniversary…..I had expected a dozen of fresh, long-stemmed roses, but instead  received a bunch of red silk roses completed with sprayed on fragrance and all the other trimmings.  I was quite disappointed to say the least, and had let my true feelings shown.   He was quite surprised that I did not appreciate it, he was being romantic  after all, for he said  the silk flowers symbolized his love for me and  it will never die.

The bouquet of blue speaks to me in whispers and words only I can understand.  The warmth returns to my body, from the underlying love of a man, and  his God.

God has spoken.

Not in a burning bush, but in a small bouquet of blue silk flowers.

He understands and sees the heart of His daughter who needs a special hug.

and He has given her a wonderful present this Christmas….

and that is the Presence of Him in every moment of her life.

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About mamaj

mom with two grown up girls, children pastor, avid knitter, coffee-lover, bear-collector. I love reading, hanging out with my girl friends and yes, I am owned by a golden lab, Jaden.

Posted on December 28, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Thank you for once more letting us a glimpse into your heart….

  2. Yes….you never get ‘over it’ but I like to think with God’s help (if we are willing) we are able to arise above it…not letting it drown us or pull us under. The grief has become part of the story, part of who these people we have lost here on earth are….

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